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I’ll never forget the first time Hubby and I were intimate. He was amazing, but that’s not what stuck in my memory for years after; it was what he said.

While giving him fellatio, my tongue found its way near his anus, the next thing I knew he was whispering “oh yes, please” and he asked me to put my finger inside of him. I was freaked out, to say the least. I never did as he asked and for years after that night I avoided that area of his body at all costs.

After I began to loosen up sexually I started to realize the value that there is in self sexual exploration. Learning how our bodies react to various types of stimulation is an important part of discovering our sexuality. Looking back on it now, I’m happy that Hubby explored his own body and figured out what he like and how he liked it long before we started our journey into pegging and prostate massage.

That’s right, not only for women, men can also benefit greatly from self exploration and masturbation. It’s common for men to masturbate as young teens and throughout their lives. However that’s not the only area that can be explored. The prostate is a highly erogenous zone that deserves exploring also. All too often, there are perceived stigmas that accompany any type of male anal exploration. It’s unfortunate that with all the scientific information showing the benefits and enjoyment of prostate massage, that anal exploration is still thought of as something only experienced between two men. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Exploring yourself before introducing this type of stimulation to your partner can help to ease these perceptions. Also it has other benefits. Suck as, becoming comfortable with your body and overcoming any awkwardness that you may feel.

Hubby discovered his prostate as a young teen and has enjoyed self stimulation for many years before I opened up to anal play. Here’s his advice to those who are new to male anal sex.

anal sex inage

~Become acquainted with your body~

Hubby suggests taking time to become acquainted with your body in a relaxed environment during a time when you know there won’t be any interruptions. It’s always nice to start off by jumping in the shower or taking a warm bath first. Not only for hygiene purposes, the warm water also helps relax your body. In your private area lock the door and dim the lights to create a relaxed and safe environment; try turning on the radio. Stretch out on the bed and find a comfortable position. Pillows can be help support your body or placed underneath you knees to help make access to your anal area easier.

Once you’re comfortable, take some deep breaths. Deep breathing is an important part of relaxing your mind and body; it even helps relax your anal sphincter. Take your time, there’s no rush. After you’re relaxed, begin by gently massaging your butt. Start off at the top of your cheeks and slowly work your way down. If you have a hand held mirror, try using it to watch your anus during this process. This will help you become familiar with how your body reacts to to the stimulation. You’ll notice your anus relaxing and loosing up as you massage. Stretch your cheeks apart as you massage to help the outer sphincter relax even more. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. The goal is to relax and become acquainted with how your body reacts to being touched.

After you feel comfortable, move on to massaging directly around and on your anus. Take your time and enjoy these sensations. Don’t feel like you have to move quickly. In one session it’s completely acceptable to stop at this point, there’s no rule that says you have to move any further.

*Hint* Try using a bit of lube to help your fingers glide over and around your anus and perineum area.

~Exploring penetration~

When exploring penetration for the first time, it’s always best to start out with your finger. Wearing a glove will make insertion smoother and aid in cleanliness. Another key to ensuring that your experience is enjoyable is using lots of lube. Water based lubricant is usually the best choice and Hubby swears by Liquid Silk.

Warm yourself up by massaging your anus; don’t forget to take deep breaths. Deep breathing truly helps to relax both the external and internal sphincters. When you’re ready, slowly slip in one finger. Notice how your muscles contract both externally and internally. Hubby suggests sitting for a few moments while breathing deep, taking time to relax before moving on. At any time, if your exploration hurts, stop immediately. Nothing about this process should be painful; however, a slight burning sensation is normal.

When you’re comfortable, begin to slowly move your finger in and out. You can experiment with moving your finger around in circles, inserting it deep, or even reaching around to find your p-spot. As you relax, you may want to try slowly inserting another finger. Take your time and help your sphincter muscles relax. Relaxing is a key to having a truly pleasurable experience.

~Using Toys~

As you explore your prostate and anal sex, you may want to try using toys. When choosing a toy, there are a few things to take into consideration. First and foremost, be sure that your toy has a flared base to keep it from slipping up into your rectum. Also, to help your toy stay in while you play, be sure that it has a long tapered neck. Necks that are to short tend to pop out while you play.

The number one toy that I suggest for beginners is the Small Silk by Tantus. Its two finger size and slender slope is ideal for anal virgins. Made from pure silicone, it’s easy to sterilize making it safe for anal play. However it’s not made to stay in by its self while you play.

Butt plugs are designed to say in while you play. They keep the sphincter open and can be very useful as a warming up tool for pegging play latter. Hubby adores his B.S. is Nice Capsule; from ThatPositon. It works great to warm him up, gives him a full feeling during sex and also works well to hit his prostate.

Prostate Massagers are designed to apply stimulation directly to the prostate gland with their curved shaft. The often come as vibrators for added p-spot stimulation. Rocks-Off has Hubby’s favorite; Cheeky-Boy. With a bulberouse shaft and a perineum massage built in along with it’s perfect shape; this toy gets a lot of use at our house.

~Hubby’s Last Thoughts~

Hubby’s #1 piece of advice is to go slow and enjoy yourself. When starting out and warming up, what Hubby enjoys the most is having a finger or small toy sitting shallow inside of him as he does kegeal grips; the tightening sensation around something is highly stimulating.

Use lots of lube. There is never such a thing as too much lube. Massaging around your anus, paying close attention to the lower area of your anal rim, will help to relax your external sphincter and reduce the stretching feeling.

Choose the right position for you. Some positions feel better than others; Hubby suggests trying with one leg propped up on a pillow or rolled over on your left side. There is no wrong or right position. Trying different angles can make things a lot more pleasurable.

There shouldn’t be any stigma associated with exploring your prostate or anal sex. Lots of women enjoy anal sex, why shouldn’t men too. Their bodies are wired the same. Very similar to the female G-spot the prostate and anus are highly erogenous zones. Filled with nerves, stimulation is not only enjoyable it can produce an orgasm unlike anything you’ve experience before. It’s true, I promise.

Exploring your body alone or with your lover, it’s common to feel nervous the first few times. Creating the proper environment and starting out with other types of stimulation will help you relax and go with the flow of the enjoyment. If you’re experimenting with a partner, anal rimming during oral sex is always a great way to warm things up.

Hubby and I both wish you the best of luck on your journey. We hope that you will take time to explore your body and become comfortable with your sexuality. Most of all, enjoy yourself. Remember there is no wrong or right way to enjoy any type of kinky pleasure.

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The sexual act of anal penetration is generally misunderstood. Despite the fact that one out of every four women has engaged in anal intercourse, the practice remains taboo.

Many women are nervous to try anal sex because of the many myths and misconceptions surrounding the practice. Let’s take a look at these myths and uncover the truth.

Myth #1 Anal Sex is Only for Homosexuals

That’s absolutely not true. Simply another option for sexual gratification, many heterosexual couples enjoy anal sex on a regular basis. In fact, anal sex has nothing at all to do with sexual identity. A recent study found that 44% of straight men under 50 have had anal sex at least once in their lives.

Myth #2 Anal Sex is Unnatural

Considering that even today many states still have sodomy laws on record, it’s no wonder that anal sex is seen as unnatural. However most of these laws were pushed forward by mainstream religion. Anal sex has been around for centuries and is viewed as acceptable in many cultures. For instance, at the famous Khajurao temples there are beautiful sculptures depicting anal pleasures. In other cultures, women engage in anal sex for pleasure while protecting their virginity for future marriage.

Ultimately, you must decide for yourself what is or isn’t natural. If you’re uncomfortable with any sexual act, don’t do it! You are in charge of what you do sexually.

Myth #3 Anal Sex is Dirty

Early in our childhood we are taught that the anus is dirty and shouldn’t be touch. However with daily hygiene, the anus is as clean as other parts of your body. However, like other parts of the body, the anus contains bacteria. With a little bit of care while playing and good common sense there’s nothing to be concerned about. However, there are a few precautions which you can take to make sure everything is clean while you play; such as, using a condom or an anal douche.

Myth #4 Anal Sex is Painful

If anal sex causes these issues you are doing it wrong. The key to pleasurable anal sex is relaxation and lots of lubrication. Relaxing your external sphincter will make anal penetration easier and more pleasurable; a slight pressure as you relax is common. Also, because the anus doesn’t create natural lubrication, use lots of water based lube to make things more pleasurable. If you learn the proper techniques before you begin experimenting, you may find anal sex enjoyable.

Myth #5 Anal Sex can be Harmful

According to Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of “What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex,” anal sex doesn’t cause hemorrhoids, fissures or even tears; under normal circumstances. However, using lube to reduce friction is a must. Also, contrary to popular belief, semen or sperm isn’t harmful to your rectum either.

Others believe that anal sex will make their anus loose leading to inconstancy later in life; untrue. Learning to control the sphincter is helpful not only for anal sex but also when having a bowl movement.

Myth #6 Women Don’t Like It

It’s a common thought that anal sex is only enjoyable for men. Anal sex does take a learning curve; a few times of trying to adjust the angle of penetration, relaxing and speed of thrusting to figure out what you like. Also during the first few moments of penetration, it’s common to feel some pressure. This slight discomfort is well worth the orgasm that often follows.

The anus is full of nerve receptors that also feed the G-spot. Many women report being able to experience a G-spot orgasm, or even a full pelvic orgasm, from anal sex alone.

Myth #7 There’s No Difference Between the Anal Sex and PIV Sex

Thinking that anal sex feels the same as PIV sex for your partner is a misconception. I asked Hubby if it feels different and he said, “Oh, yes.” He described my vagina as being stretchy and full of folds that give varying friction depending on where he’s at inside of me. My rectum, on the other hand, he described as feeling deep, long and velvety smooth; a complete sensation all its own.

Myth #8 I’m Way Too Small

The rectum is a tube which collapses and stretches to accommodate what’s inside of it; it’s not a stretchy pouch like the vagina. Think about the size of your large poop, compared to that I’m sure that your anus will easily stretch enough to accommodate your fellow.

Myth #9 Anal Sex Causes Aids or STD’s

This is absolutely wrong. If both partners are STD free, it’s impossible to contract AIDS. If this is your fear, please educate yourself about the source of AIDS and other STD’s.

When it comes to anal sex, education is your friend. Learning about the different techniques, tips and tricks can be the difference between loving it and hating it. Try to open yourself up to trying new things and take it slow. I’m sure that you’ll find anal sex isn’t as bad as you thought.

By Posted on Posted in Guides

Enjoying anal sex is definitely a pleasure that takes a bit of a learning curve. Listening to your body and communication with your lover are a must. Also, I can’t stress enough how important going slowly, relaxing and using lots of lube are to your fun. Another key to enjoying anal sex is the position you play in.

For the beginner, there are several positions that are easier for penetration and can also make things funner all around.

Missionary – The original man on top position for PIV sex. With her bottom tilted upward, her little hole is exposed and easy for him to access. With her legs folded back towards the shoulders, this is a great position for those who like deep penetration or if he has a shorter penis.

You can also try these variations of the traditional Missionary position.

Upright Missionary – With her on the back, he sits up on his knees between her legs. She bends her knees and rest her feet on his chest. In this position, his hands are free to explore her lady bits or breasts. It’s also fun for men who like a good view.

Missionary L – In the same manner as the Upright Missionary, in this position, her legs are straight in this position rather than resting on his chest. Lying in this position her torso and rectum straightens out, making penetration a bit easier. This position is also good for those who like shallow penetration since he can control the depth easily.

CowGirl – the typical woman on top for PIV sex. With her straddling him, this is a good position for beginners because she can control the angle, depth and pace. While she controls it all, his hands are free to explore and give her extra stimulation. This is also a good position to prolog your play, since a man’s ejaculation reflexes slow down when he’s on his back.

Froggie – A fun variation of Cowgirl, in the position she’s crouched down on her feet straddling him. Taking the strain off her knees she can now ride his rod more vigorously. I’ve found that this position works a bit easier when I can reach the headboard or wall to balance against.

Spooning – Especially comfortable for anal beginners, with both partners on their sides facing in the same direction, penetration is natural and easy. Also, lying in this position, thrusting is gentler and slower. With lots of body contact, this position lets your hands be free to explore and caress each other. It’s also a great position for those who like to use a vibrator while they play since there’s full access to her vulva.

As Spooning becomes comfortable and she wants more, it’s easy to move into the Spoon & Fork position. With one of his leg between hers, wrap yourselves together. He’ll find that thrusting with gusto is much easier in this position.

Doggie Style – Oh yes the beloved Doggie Style is a great position for anal sex beginners. With her on all fours, this position is extremely versatile. Since she can angle herself differently, finding the right variation for smooth penetration is easy. After she’s warmed up, Doggie Style lets him thrust deep and hard. At the same time, in this position she can take control and slowly move herself on his rod. Men love this position because it’s easy to see and his hands are free to explore her ass.

Remember, there’s never a right or wrong way to a sexual position. All positions can be adapted to accommodate your needs, body size, flexibility, comfort, personal preferences, gender or sexual orientation. Sexual positions aren’t about finding the correct way. It’s about exploring with your partner and finding what’s right for you. The joy is in the journey, not in the perfection.

For me, anal sex is a great experience. Explore and find the pleasures that it may hold for you too.