How Phone Sex Can Improve Your LDR

Posted on Posted in Guides

Being of the internet generation, I’ve had my share of online, and long distance, relationships. When my husband was in Germany for a few weeks, Skype sex was a wonderful treat that we got to have every couple of days, and it kept us going until we were able to see each other again. Here is the secret that can help you the next time your significant other (SO) is out of town.

Why Phone Sex Works

When you are in a long distance relationship (LDR), or if your significant other (SO) is going out of town for an extended work stay, it can sometimes feel like the relationships is stretched so thin that you’ll never reach your special someone again. There is something that bridges that gap, bringing you closer together in spirit until you can finally see each other again. This little secret is phone sex. Why does phone sex help a LDR? Simple. When you climax during sex, you are producing a storm of hormones which help you bond with a person mentally, as well as physically. When you orgasm while on the phone with them, it creates the same storm of hormones, bonding you to their voice — which coaxed that reaction from you in the first place. In this way, having phone sex can make your long distance connection more intimate.

This also helps your SO see you as an individual who has needs and feelings, and not just as a voice they are holding in their hand that they can summon at the press of a button. Phone sex can initiate other conversations about likes and dislikes, both in and out of bedroom, and it can help you to learn more about your partner without even making personal contact. In a way, those relaxed conversations after orgasm are what helped me to really get to know the real person behind the name. In some areas, I still haven’t had conversations with my own husband that those late night gasping for breath conversations ended up revealing. Some of those areas just never came up when we rolled over after climax and slept. Being on the phone requires that you are more verbal; you have to communicate to each other how you feel and why, rather than leaving it to the silences of real life sex.

How To Do It

When you first get the idea to help your SO reach the mountaintop without putting a finger on them, it sounds like a hard to accomplish challenge. It’s not nearly as hard as it seems, though. Firstly, you need to remember that you are going to be nervous when you first initiate such a thing. Roll with it. That nervousness does not go away until you have more experience, and how will you get that experience if you don’t suffer a few slips of the tongue here and there? Also, once you get into it enough, that awkwardness will melt away fast. Start your session off by sharing a fantasy that normally gets you off when you play alone — just make sure you replace “Ryan Gosling” or “Megan Fox” with your significant others name. This is you opening up to them, and it encourages them to make the leap with you.

Don’t be too shy to be kinky. Describe to your partner those things that you have never done but want to do. Tell them how you think it would feel to you, and why. Make sure you use your throat when you talk, but don’t whisper. If you whisper, your SO won’t be able to hear you. Also, and this is important, don’t hold back. You are on the edge and about to have a powerful “O,” but all your partner hears is silence. Silence isn’t sexy. Let it out a bit, moan for once! Moaning is sexy, and even if you just say a simple “oh yes” over and over again, it is sometimes all your other needs to reach their special moment, too. Tell your partner what you are doing to yourself; fill the silence with something sexy.

Don’t be afraid to set the mood wherever you are, if it helps you relax and focus on what is being said and felt. Play your favorite mood music softly in the background, light candles, wear lingerie, and go all out. Also, this is the digital age, snap a picture or two, because it does help!

Conclusion

Remember, phone sex is by no means necessary, but it adds a spice to your relationship when you just can’t see each other right now. It’s something new and exciting you can try while your SO is out of town, or if they live just so far away. It can promote feelings of bonding and intimacy while far away, and can spark conversations you might never have had otherwise. Try it sometime, and you might discover you really like it.

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