Category: Guides

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As I become more experienced in anal play and purchase more advanced toys, I’ve noticed that most of my beginner and intermediate toys are collecting dust. Part of me says to throw them out, but the other part says I’ll end up regretting that. I assume other people have been in this situation. What have you all done?

I only use smaller toys, despite being an “advanced” user. However, there are many toys I grow tired of, or don’t like the feel of, and they just get piled in a drawer, or closet and forgotten. Until I purged my “Jelly” toys a few years ago, I had never tossed a toy that wasn’t broken or physically ruined, but I think I really do need to do some serious housecleaning in the “toy” department.

I keep them I tend to to still use them on occasion and would kick myself if I found myself wanting to experience them again and had gotten rid of them. I do keep them stored separate from the ones I use more on a regular basis though.

Selling them has never been an option in my mind. maybe a close friend and the toys are boilable. but still I don’t see my closest friend wanting one of my used anal toys  . I personally keep them in my collection and you never know you might use them again.

Over time some toys are replaced with newer ones. We play with them all allowing time for shrinkage to play with the smaller ones. They are great to wear for extended periods for all day play.

I threw out the ones that definitely did not work out. Did get some just too too large. Guess my eyes were bigger than my …. LOL. I’ve kept my beginners ones. I’m glad I did. Every now and then in the mood to use them. Also who knows, maybe one day my wife may want to try them.

Share and share alike.

 

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I enjoy a more hard toy when it comes to anal play. I have been thinking of expanding the toy box but I am caught between buying either anal beads or an anal probe. I am concerned that the beads will be too soft or too bendable (for lack of a better word) and end up being something doesn’t do it for me. Are there are any beads that are not as flexible but have a little more give than most probes? Also I prefer harder silicone anal toys over soft.

I already have a few of those. What I like is the gradual increase of bulges in the beads and probes. I have a smaller probe (about 3 inch insertable)and was wanting something a little longer.

Have you seen these things you use to add a flared base to any dildo you like? They are made by Evolved and it appears Eden no longer sells them, but they come in either individual sizes based on the dildo girth, or you buy a set of all three sizes. Here is a link to a good review with helpful pictures showing it on different toys, etc. for the larger one using one of these (available elsewhere –I recommend trying the 3 pk so you’re covered no matter the toy size)

I mistakenly thought in my previous message that I linked you to my review of the Magic Scepter which has this info included! Here is the link to the (discontinued on Eden) three pack of “vibrator enhancers” I mention above.

Glass Dildo Crystal Dildo Glass Female masturbation devices Glass Anal toys Glass Anal Plug Glass Sex Toys

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I’m trying to pick out my first toy for anal exploration. Even after reading the reviews I’m having a hard time picking between the two. They’re both made of silicone and they’re the same price, but I like the ring on the Plug of Lust.

So, that brings me to my question: which do you prefer?

I’m curious to see which one of these two butt plugs the community prefers, and which they would recommend.

I recommend that you look at the B-Bomb. It is nicely tapered and smooth. With some lube and patience it slips in nicely. The vibrations actually help relax/distract which also eases penetration.

Have fun and enjoy – don’t forget to reapply lube as necessary.

Well, I only have the Mood Naughty but I really love it as a beginner plug.

The Mood Naughty plugs are excellent for beginners. I recommend getting all three as they are extremely thin. They’re inexpensive enough to at least get two. But yeah, super skinny, body safe, flexible, they’re terrific!

My first plug was the Naughty Mood. I thought the longer tapered tip would be easier for entry. I also wanted a thin neck so would not be too stretched open. I found it enjoyable but not thick enough after few sessions. I then got a classic. It has the same long tapered design but boy was it bigger. It was even more enjoyable. However I discovered I preferred a plug that is shorter in length. The long ones stirred up BM’s after longer sessions. They also being silicone retained odors. I got tired of soaking in mild bleach solutions so purchased a N Joy Pure Plug. Being stainless they did not retain any odor and super easy to clean. Since I liked the classic (1 1/2 inch wide) I went with the Pure Plug Large which also is 1 1/2 inch wide. The Pure Plugs also have a thin neck.

Hope this helps you.

Don Wand Glass Pleasure Plug Glass butt Plug Crystal butt Plug

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Mine is The lil man. I like to leave it in during intercourse sometimes and it gives me that extra edge when I climax.

The lil man looks like an interesting plug. My favorite anal toy is still the hard and heavy njoy Pure plug in size medium.

The B-Bomb is my wife’s favorite. She also likes the Magnum for simulated-DP. I prefer the Magnum and O2 Revolution when it’s my turn.

Hmmm… probably the large Sasha Grey. It has the right combination of giving that full feeling, yet still moving enough to make me feel good. The weight of the glass is really nice as well.

I love my glass plug Neptune. I have trouble keeping in traditional plugs and Neptune is just perfect! Plus it’s glad so super easy to clean and maintain.

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Question:Looking for advise for an anal beginner. What are the best toys to start with?

Reply1:It is best to start your fingers, and work your way up to toys, First invest in a good lube, Have fun.Start with your fingers like Two Grand said, then work up to toys that are the same size/length of your fingers

Reply2:Warm up with a finger (with nicely trimmed nail) accompanied by plenty of lube, then proceed to use a silicone plug like the Mood Naughty in size medium or large. The Mood Naughty’s long and narrow neck helps the plug stay snugly in place and prevents unwanted slippage.

Reply3:Start slow, small, and slippery! Don’t let your eyes be “bigger” than your butthole, start small and work your way up in size…don’t go too big too fast or you’ll not want to try it again. Oh yeah…LUBE, don’t forget the LUBE!!

Oh man, I didn’t do ANY of that with my first time of anal.
We just kind of tried it. We had lube, which was good. It was a little painful, but mostly pleasurable.

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Okay, so let’s say you and your husband are into anal play, and you want to take it a step further. You are both comfortable with the idea of anal sex, but you feel like you need some pointers to help you get started.

“Here are some things to keep in mind when you are ready to try anal sex:”

— Amy Barbour

Anal sex is easily achieved by some couples, but a little harder for others. It can be difficult to learn to accommodate your husband’s penis. Most women need to start out with something smaller and work their way up to it.

Use copious amounts of lube. I cannot stress this enough. While the vagina self-lubricates, the same cannot be said of the anus. It will be in your best interest to put lube on both places (your anus and the object being inserted). In fact, if your husband is down there with his fingers or a plug, just tell him to keep the bottle of lube with him!
Start out with your husband’s finger. Seriously. He can easily use a finger cot or glove if he wants. If you like the feelings you get from his finger, then that is a good indication that you may be ready for a little more. If his finger is uncomfortable to you or feels strange when inserted, then you may ultimately not like anal sex. You may be on this stage for one night or several months before you are ready to move on to anything else.
Move up to a small anal plug. Anal plugs come in so many sizes now and are relatively inexpensive. You and your husband can even pick one out online discreetly to avoid potential embarrassment of physically going to the toy store (although I think that’s part of the fun!) You can also try having your husband try and insert two fingers at this point. The goal here is to get your anus used to something slightly larger fitting in there. Again, some of you may have absolutely no problem with this stage either, or it may feel kind of foreign to you. Make sure that you experience having an orgasm while trying this, so you’ll know what you are getting yourself into! (Remember to use tons of lube!)When you feel you are ready to try full-blown anal sex, then start slowly. You may be surprised at the difference in size between an anal plug and your husband’s erect penis. I will tell you that getting the head in is the biggest hurdle, and after that it’s easier. Just go slowly and start out with very shallow mini-thrusts. By that, I mean to just barely thrust enough to get most of the head in. When you feel like you are able to take more in, then take it a little further. Remember to add more lube each time you take in another inch. Make sure you are in a comfortable position. Some positions are tighter for anal sex and other positions are more relaxed and may work better for you. So if you aren’t able to achieve penetration in one position, it’s possible that another may work for you. Here are some good positions we have that work for anal sex:Rear Entry
Standing T
Doggie Variation
The Screw
Recovery Position

If it feels uncomfortable to you, stop. Do not force it if it hurts. You could potentially damage yourself.
I encourage you to take it slowly, and don’t get upset if it doesn’t work immediately. Some things take time, patience, and practice. Once you have it down, try adding a vibe to your clitoris at the same time! Many women who like anal sex, also like experiencing double penetration as well, so that may be something worth looking into.

If you and your husband are interested in anal sex, then you’ll also need to decide on going bareback or wearing a condom. The use of a condom is cleaner, and you can always remove the condom for regular vaginal intercourse afterwards. If you decide to go without one, just remember that you should never re-insert his penis (or finger) into your vagina after it has been in your anus. That is a sure fire way to spread bacteria and get an infection.

So talk to your spouse about your expectations and/or concerns. Make sure that you are both comfortable with whatever decisions are made. You may try this only to find that one or both of you don’t like it. If that’s the case, then there are hundreds of other ideas and positions to try. Pray about it, take it slow, and HAVE FUN!

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GGG is a term first coined by sex writer Dan Savage. Not only is it a good road map for healthy relationships, but those that follow it report a higher level of satisfaction in their love life.

My husband and I strive to make sure we are both satisfied with our sexual lives. Sometimes this means that one of us may have sex when we aren’t necessarily in the mood, or are in the mood for something different than what is being suggested. There is lots of compromise and negotiation. Often we may say, “OK, today we will do [what one of us suggests], but tomorrow we will do [what the other suggests].” We want to please not only ourselves, but each other. I never thought there was any term that classified what we do other than “healthy sexual relationship,” but it turns out that Dan Savage of the column Savage Love coined a very specific term a few years ago: GGG.
GGG stands for good, giving, and game. Good, as in striving to be “good in bed.” For us, this means research, understanding, communication, and being in tune with each other. We don’t just want to muddle through sex; we want to do it well. We read books and articles. We compare notes with other couples. We pick up tips and tricks.
The giving portion of GGG means “giving equal time and pleasure.” In our relationship, this means ensuring that both of us are getting our needs met. This can be emotional or physical, including but not limited to the opportunity to reach orgasm if an orgasm is desired, no matter what the activity. Of course, either one of us can and sometimes do say that we don’t need an orgasm on a given day, but mostly we ensure that we both at least have the ability and opportunity. Giving equal time also goes back to compromise. Maybe he wants a position that I’m not crazy about, but he agrees to try a different one later. Maybe he doesn’t like a position pillow in that position, but I’ll move it to a different position after a while. Both of us ensure that not only are our own needs met, but we also make sure that the other has everything needed to be satisfied.
Finally, we come to game. In this context, game means to be “game for anything–within reason.” This is where it can get a little tricky and it is very important that both partners understand that “within reason” is added to the rule for a reason. This doesn’t mean making demands or pushing boundaries that one or both partners aren’t comfortable with being pushed. For us, this means being open to new positions, toys, pillows, and activities. It does not open the door for belittling or abuse. If you try this with your partner and one of you says, “You have to do this. It’s part of being game,” then something has gone wrong.
Interestingly, scientific studies back up the premise of GGG as it applies to healthy relationships, especially the being game part. Studies show that when a person is happily open to trying new things for the sake of a partner and feel good about the change, they may experience a higher level of satisfaction in the relationship. However, being open-minded solely for oneself hasn’t been found to have an impact on satisfaction.
We never knew there was a term for the way we run our relationship. We just considered ourselves loving, giving, and open to the needs of each other. Now we have a term to describe our relationship more succinctly.

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Today’s article is going to focus on an activity called facesitting. We are going to learn what it is, how to do it, why people like it, and some safety concerning it.

What is Facesitting?
Facesitting is literally how the name sounds. It is where one person sits on another person’s face. Facesitting, or sometimes called queening, brings one person’s face in contact with another person’s anus or genitals, either forced or “consensual.” Once the genitals or anus of the top have been brought into contact with the bottom’s mouth, oral sex if performed. The top can also grind down, wiggle, and move around on the bottom’s face.
Normally, facesitting involves a female on top and a male or a female on the bottom. This is because genital contact is more common than contact with a person’s anus and a male cannot facesit from the top. It just does not work physically. An erection goes upwards, so a male can’t have oral contact with a person below him. Facesitting is typically considered to be part of BDSM because it can easily be used to create a dominance and submissive dynamic and humiliate the bottom if that is desired.
Why Would Someone Partake In Facesitting?
There are two main reasons why people typically partake in facesitting. It is either for the sensual experience or for a BDSM type scene.
The first is because certain men enjoy the sensation of being very intimate with a woman’s sex organ. There is a specific taste associated with vaginal secretions that may be pleasurable. There is a smell associated as well that many people find erotic. Having a person on top of you exerts pressure and that can be pleasurable and heighten the experience even more than ordinary oral sex. There is often a darkness so all your other senses such as taste, smell, and touch intensify making for a highly erotic experience. Some women can “squirt” and will discharge large amounts of fluid upon orgasm. This can be very exciting for a male to have this happen on his face. Oftentimes males do not get physical proof of an orgasm, so having it directly on their face can really solidify their ego. They feel like sex gods and can do anything. It just makes you happy to be able to pleasure your partner.
The second is for a BDSM experience. A part of BDSM is establishing a submissive and a dominant dynamic. Facesitting almost inherently creates this as one person is on the top and the sole purpose of facesitting is their pleasure. The experience also creates an altered physical strength between the two partners. When you are sitting on another person’s chest and face it is a lot easier to control their movement. Even if you are weaker than your partner, they might not be able to get up because you are on them. The bottom gives up control and is unable to do things he normally is able to do. He also gets no genital contact. His pleasure comes second. His ability to be pleasured and have sex is diminished making him second to the dominant. Some people really enjoy a D/S dynamic and facesitting creates an ideal environment to do it.
Safety
In order to facesit, you cover a person’s mouth and nose to a certain extent. This does add some risk to it. The nose and the mouth are where people breathe from, so if you restrict them too much, you can cause harm to them. This is further complicated by the fact most people’s tongues only stick out of their mouth a few inches. So you have to be very close in order for someone to perform oral sex on you. However with some practice you can find comfortable positions where you put some pressure on the bottom but not too much that it restricts their capacity to breathe in a meaningful way. This does take practice and communication. It is also good to have a signal that things are getting too intense. An easy one is for the bottom to tap the top’s buttocks or thighs in a “tap out” manner which will signal they need air and for the top to come up and allow them to breathe. Safewords, loud mumbling, or shaking can all be safety features that accomplish the same thing. Whatever works for you.
Additional Possibilities
There are other dimensions you can add to facesitting. The first is to have the bottom in bondage. He is therefore forced to perform oral sex and this can add humiliation, helplessness, and a feeling of submissiveness, all things that people enjoy. Tie his hands to his side with wrist and thigh cuffs. Tie his hands to the side of the bed. Restrain his hands to his side with belts. Put him in a straightjacket. Any form of bondage will work that prevents him from easily moving around. Do be careful though. There is an additional safety risk. If he cannot tap you to tell you he is running out of air, then there is some more risk. So just be careful and communicate lots and have a way he can still signal.
There are pieces of furniture called queening stools or facesitting stools. These are specific forms of furniture that make facesitting easy. The bottom places his head in a box, and then the female just lowers herself onto the top of the box and he performs his duties. Now these can be quite expensive and EF does not sell them. However you can make your very own. If you are handy with wood, you can make one with relative ease. But the other option is to find a chair that has a cushion you can lift up. You lift up the cushion so there is just a hole and no cushion. You then just trim the legs until it is a good height. You can then sit or straddle the chair. The bottom’s head goes under the chair (so it is under the hole). You get the same style of furniture without much effort. If you did not want to trim the chair, you could just put the bottom on a pile of cushions until he was at the right height.
Stimulating the Top
Although the tongue can be used, the male’s nose can also be used for stimulation. The female can grind around on it causing contact with her clitoris or vagina. This can also provide stimulation. What works is going to depend on each person. But a good place to start is just sitting still, then add some movement (the top), then experiment until you find what works for you.
Hopefully you now have an understand that facesitting involves one person sitting down on another person for genital or anal stimulation. People do it for both the sensual and the BDSM aspect, and that it is a safe activity as long as you think about what you are doing. If you have any questions or personal stories feel free to leave them in the comments.
I did use gendered words during this article. That is because facesitting is typically done with a male on the bottom and a female on top. You can however switch this up if you so choose.

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For some, there is nothing sexier than rubbing against a lover’s smooth skin. Yet for some of us shaving can be a pain. Without the promise of some sexual favor to come, it can be hassle not worth undergoing. So how do we give our lover the smoothest skin possible and still make it worth our time and effort? That’s simple, combine the two. Here’s how…

“Shaving is a really depressing task when you know you’re not getting laid that night.”

— ZJ22

If you and your lover are going to undertake the rather sexy task of shaving each other you’ll need to know a few key things, and have the right tools. Start with the basics, the razor. There are tons of razors available on the market, and whether you’re using a disposable, a more expensive razor, or an electric, there’s something for everyone. Water, that’s a very basic need but an important one nonetheless, and while shaving some areas is recommended dry, you’ll still need water to wash and rinse with. Next on your tool kit list should be shaving cream or gel, you can choose whatever scent or variety you like, but it’s a must for the smoothest shave possible. Another option is a shaving bar, this is the kind of lathering ‘soap’ specifically for shaving that most barbers use and is applied with a brush. Men tend to adore this stuff so it can be a real treat for them. You’ll also want a dry clean towel, a wash cloth, trimming scissors, shaving oil, and some after shave. If you don’t want to face the sting, or the smell of most traditional aftershaves, try using witch hazel or an aloe vera gel instead. Now that you’ve got your tool kit assembled, it’s time start shaving.

Men:

On a man there are several areas you could shave, there’s the face, chest, and even scrotum. Starting with the face is a good way to set a mood for cuddling, comfort, and maybe a bit more later on. Line up your supplies and soak your razor in a glass of cold water. Usually you would use hot water for soaking your blade but when it comes to facial hair it’s good to use cold, as hot makes the blade expand and dull, this is especially true of disposable blades. In the case of a full beard start off with a set clippers or scissors to trim the longer hairs. Sit on a countertop facing your man, legs spread wide so that your knees are pressed to their hips as you trim their longer hairs. This will give you both a great vantage point for shaving and create a closeness and intimacy. Next, wash your lovers face, rub your hands over their cheeks and jawline, working the cleanser in. Use a hot washcloth to wipe all the soap away when you’re done. This is the perfect opportunity for you to trace their lips with your fingertips and steal yourself a sweet kiss. Now apply shaving oil, rub it in your hands and then massage it into your partner’s facial hair. Make eye contact as you do this. Keep eye contact as you brush on the shaving cream or gel. Use swirling motions to spread it across the area you’re going to shave. Pick up the razor and begin shaving. Start on one side and work with small sections, towards the other side of his face. Use short, light, downward strokes moving with the grain. Pull your lovers skin tight and position their face as you go with gentle movements and light teasing. When you’ve finished, rinse your loves face with a wet cloth again, taking care to make sure you got all the lather and stray hairs off. Run your hands across your lover’s face and go over any places you missed until you can rub your face against your mans without pain or discomfort. Rinse your loves face with cold water and pat dry, this will close the pores and keep skin smoother for longer. Using witch hazel, rub it into your love’s face to sooth any cuts and prevent razor burn. Clean all tools with care and rub your face against your love’s again. With this kind of treatment, you can be sure both you and your lover will enjoy the shaving experience.
If you and your lover want to trim off some chest hair or even give it a completely bare look you’ll want to use a blade with pivoting head and multi blades. Start by trimming the hairs short, place a comb flat on his skin and trim over the comb with small scissors. Wash the area with warm water and an exfoliating scrub. Next you’ll want to rub on shaving oil; this will make shaving go smoother and remove much of the risk of cuts or nicks. Apply shaving cream; take this chance to tease your man’s nipples as you spread the lather. Hold their skin taut, and shave against the grain using short strokes and taking care around nipples and collar bones. The more curves you have to deal with, the greater the risk that your partner may be cut during shaving. Rinse the remaining shaving gel and stray hair with warm cloth, pat dry and apply unscented lotion, or apply witch hazel.
Working your way further down your lover’s body you may wish to shave their scrotum or ball sac. Many women, and men, enjoy this look and feel, especially while performing oral, so it’s no wonder this is a popular area to shave. There are two ways in which to do this, with an electric razor, for which you’ll need the area to be completely dry, or with a standard razor blade. If you’re using the standard blade start by sitting on the edge of the tub or a low stool have your partner stand with legs spread wide and gently use a warm washcloth to wipe your loves scrotum. Using a mild soap wash and rinse them with a warm cloth. Be careful not to pinch the sensitive flesh. Soak razor in warm water for a few minutes while you wash. Put a dab of shaving cream in your palms and gently rub it in. Using a standard razor pull the sacs apart and the skin as tight as you can without hurting your man. Use small short strokes to shave each and between them carefully. You will need a lot of light for this. To use an electric razor you’ll need to pat the testicles dry after washing, and then apply baby powder to them. This will help absorb any excess moisture and make them easier to shave without injury. Pull the skin tight again and use a circular motion to remove hair. Rinse your blade frequently to avoid build up. When you’ve finished rinse scrotum with a warm wash cloth and pat dry again. You’ll definitely want to avoid using any aftershave in this area, as the alcohol may irritate the sensitive skin.

Women:

A woman’s body has just as many sexy fun areas to shave as a man’s does. There are legs, naturally, the bikini line, and even the shaving of the armpits can be sexy. To shave your ladies’ legs, crawl into a bath together, and make sure the water’s comfortably warm. You don’t want to be too hot or too cold, as that will cause the skin to dry out and become more susceptible to nicks and cuts. It might be most comfortable to have her sit behind you with her legs stretched over your shoulders. Spread an exfoliating wash in your hands and then rub it down her legs, washing away any dead skin cells. Rinse the exfoliating scrub off and apply your shaving cream. You can use almost any razor for this job so long as it’s sharp. Shave against the grain, moving up the legs for a closer shave. Clean your blade often and use medium length, and give straight strokes. Rinse and repeat on the next leg, rubbing your hands down their lengths when you’re done to check for missed areas, and to feel up your lover. Pat dry and apply a nice moisturizing lotion, and enjoy the feel of her smooth legs.
For many, armpits aren’t highly erotic zones but most would agree that shaving your armpits is preferred. To make armpits hair-free and sexy starts with a shower or bathe to soften the skin and hair. Now ask your lady love to raise her arms and tell her to keep them behind her head, this will help to hold the skin taut. Apply a shaving gel, it doesn’t need to be very thick but will add a good lubrication for shaving. Armpit hair grows in all directions so start by shaving down in vertical lines, then up the same way. Next shave side to side, but try not to go over the same area too many times as this might irritate her skin. Rinse her armpits using a warm wet cloth and take the chance to lightly tickle and tease her. Pat dry and repeat with the other armpit. She’ll need to wait at least half an hour before applying a deodorant as the area is highly sensitive, but now she can put her arms down and around your neck to hold you close.
Shaving the bikini line is a very sensitive subject, and a sensitive area. To make this easier have your lover lay down on her back on a towel after a warm bath or shower, with legs slightly spread. Start by trimming the hairs short, just as with trimming off chest hair. Press a comb flat to her skin and trim the hairs with a pair of small scissors. Now use a gentle exfoliating scrub and warm wet washcloth to cleanse the area. Spread shaving oil over the remaining hair, locking eyes with her as you do. Repeat as you apply shaving cream. For this you’ll want to use a good razor with multiple blades and a pivoting head. Using a disposable razor is unadvisable as they won’t be as sharp and may cause more irritation and cuts than necessary. While shaving, make sure to go with the hair growth and then against, cleaning the blade often. Rinse her with a clean warm wash cloth, cleaning away all the excess hair and shaving cream. Pat dry and moisturize with a light unscented lotion.
Doing these things for your lover will make them feel pampered, special, and help to set the mood. Now you can rub your bare (in more ways than one, right?) skin against one another.